Kinlaw: Men must provide spiritual example for children
Dr. Brian Kinlaw
I recently came across a set of statistics that has led me to think more carefully about my personal role in the lives of my children, and the role of the men of our church in the lives of their children.
In the book, "Becoming Spiritual Soulmates with Your Child,'' authors Robert and Debra Bruce share the following startling statistics related to the impact of the examples of parents in the lives of their children.
A study found that if both mom and dad attend church regularly, 72 percent of their children remain faithful to church attendance as adults.
If only dad attends church regularly, 55 percent remain faithful. If only mom, 15 percent remain faithful.
And if neither parent attends church regularly, only 6 percent of their children remain faithful in church attendance as they grow to adulthood.
It has been my observation that in most homes, the mother is given the responsibility of spiritual leadership for the children.
Most fathers focus on providing for their families through their work and seek to spend time with their kids in various recreational activities, but the role of spiritual leader for the children has been handed over to the mother.
In fact, many men are satisfied to see their wives and children off to church on Sunday mornings while they remain home to "rest" after a busy week. They feel good about the future of their children because they are making sure that they are in church and learning about God. Unfortunately, these men do not realize that their lack of attendance greatly reduces the likelihood that the church and the Christian faith will be a regular part of the lives of their children in the future.
We as men must take seriously the call of God to be the spiritual leaders in our homes. We must commit to not simply settle for sending our children to church, but to actually join them in attending and being involved. You can tell your kids that you are a Christian and that the church should be a part of their lives, but if you do not lead by example, your actions greatly outweigh your words in influencing their futures.
I am so thankful for the many women in our churches who are single moms or wives of unchurched husbands who faithfully take their children to church each week and seek to teach them the Christian truths in the home. I praise God for their commitment to instill godly values in their children and their desire to lead their kids to faith in Christ.
Women who take their children to church do make a difference, and their kids can beat the odds and be solid followers of Jesus as adults as a result of their influence.
But, we as men must wake up to the power of our example in the lives of our children. Words are not enough. Our kids must see us live out that which we desire to instill in them.
If we want our children to grow up with a passion for God and a commitment to his church, then we must set the example.
There is no greater gift we can give to our children than to live as a passionate Christ-follower who loves the Lord and his church.
Dr. Brian Kinlaw is the senior pastor of Southview Baptist Church of Hope Mills and can be reached at bkinlaw@nc.rr.com.